HA HA! part 3 - Dear every girl I went through the 6th and 7th grades with - I win

(Originally posted in a somewhat less refined form on my Facebook page.)













HA! In your face! I told you! I knew it!

Remember when you were all "George Michael is dreamy!" and I'd come along and harsh your mellow by going "Aw, he's gay. You're wasting yer time"? And remember how you'd get all mad and throw stuff at me? And then remember how years later, I was right? Remember that? Because I do.

OK, so remember when I was all "the new kids suck" and you (all of you said this. ALL of you) were all "You're just jealous!" (which was ridiculous) and so I said "no I'm not, they suck. Plus they're totally gay"? Well, HA HA HA on you! Jonathan Knight IS gay! He has been outed! True, the Enquirer announced it, but note the salacious display of voyeured faggotry above, which I shamelessly swiped from them. SO: I was right! We rotten boys were 100% right. Every time we called them the "New fags on the block" we were speaking unfettered truth. Yes, Joey McIntyre was the chief whipping boy/lightning rod for unsubstantiated rumors of having semen pumped out of his stomach. Still, in the name of the 12 year olds we were, I claim this as a victory and a vindication 20 years overdue. "New fags on the block", implied homophobia be damned, is hereby declared legitimate. By me. Just because the shoe fits. Boy, does it feel good to declare that. Interesting note: Apparently he "realized he was gay" (meaning got turned gay) after dating Tiffany. OK, that was mean of me. But I have the feeling that he's not the only boy Tiffany helped to realize he was gay. And by that I refer to fey little boys singing "I think we're alone now" in their rooms when there didn't seem to be anyone around.

Learn this lesson well, and pass it to your daughters: When some rotten boy comes along and calls your little teen idol gay, HE'S RIGHT. He may just be saying it to be rotten and make you mad (in my case at least), but he's right. Best just to accept it.

PS

HA HA HA!

PPS

That goes double for you, NICOLE COOPER.