HATE IT! Part 9 - Bonfire Madigan

I think this photo does a decent job of capturing the shittiness of Madigan Shive. "But who is she," you may ask, "and why do you hate her so?" The answers are simple: She is an excremental and talentless "cellist" who writes music so hackneyed and rudimentary, every bunch of high schoolers who have played loud instruments together in the last 45 years have cast aside the very same riffs she plays (poorly) on her cello because said riffs just weren't up to their own low standards, and I hate her because she is not only a prime perpitrator of feculence, but she is also head over heels in love with herself. Behold the bio from her own website: cackle at her incessant name-dropping and sad attempts to boost her own credentials as someone of import. Lady, shut the fuck up about yourself. You wheedle away incompetently on your oversized fiddle while screeching inanely about your vagina. I couldn't care less about your views of the world, gender, and patriarchy; you haven't got the lyrical ability to make your ideas interesting as songs. You do too poor a job at what you do to capture my interest in what you have to say. When I want to hear ranting over noise, I usually just put on a Crass CD. YOU CAN'T MAKE MUSIC FOR SHIT. You're just rehashing Ani DiFranco's trip but without the instrumental, lyrical, or songwriting ability and substituting yowliness in its stead. That's not cool at all. What might be cool is if you wrote your thoughts out as essays, if you can pull off the verbal articulation thing, and judging by your lyrics, I have my doubts. I might find essays you write to be interesting to read, or even good. This shit, though, makes me want to puke in your face and fart on your dinner. Kindly stop. You're withering my stirrups and anvils, and making a colossal fool of yourself in the process.

I hesitate to pepper a review (even in HATE IT!) of such overtly feminist music with terms such as "screeching" and "yowly", because many women take umbrage to anything feminism-related being associated with the word "shrill". I'm not just dismissing her as some harpy with hairy pits. This is legitimately awful stuff, and the "shrill" shoe fits it perfectly. Cope. When Madigan Shive makes music, the whole world loses. Anyone with two good ears dies a little when they hear this trash, and only the blowhardiest of the blowhards can ignore the pathologically inept and criminally poor execution of her music to actually get around to caring enough to align themselves with it. This fuckery gives even Ida a run for its shitty money. A resounding "FUCK YOU" to this nonsense, I rate it "Piss poor minus".