Grammar rant

You know what bugs me? People who can't wrap their heads around their own native language bug me. It drives me nanners. To wit: "Xavier". Why is it that I've only ever met maybe 2 people who have demonstrated the correct pronunciation? I once worked for a Mr. E. X. Harkins who mispronounced his own middle name. I knew a guy who named his kid Xavier and didn't know how to fucking say the name. So I'll put it here. For the record. To be immortalized just so somewhere out in the ether of the internet, a glimmer or truth shall shine. It is not pronounced "Ex-savior", like you just told Jesus to take a hike because he's not welcome around these parts anymore. It is pronounced just like it's spelled. "Zavier". You know how "x" sounds like a z at the beginning of a word? Like "xerox" or "xerxes"? Yeah, that's exactly how it works. Compare it to pronouncing "Robert" as "Arr-obert". Same thing. You couldn't figure that out, huh? Too bad. Perhaps you ought to be permanently institutionalized with others who are hoplessly, helplessly retarded to the point of being unable to function even minimally when so much as exposed to society even for a trip to the zoo. You're too stupid to see the antelopes. You don't deserve to. Now we can move on to the difference between "you're" and "your". Also, "there", "their", and "they're" causes people problems, as do "its" and "it's". I'm not actually gonna go into that shit. Here's the rule of thumb: If you've reached double digits in age and you aren't sure which to use, cover yourself in gas and set yourself on fire. See, it's simple. And if you pluralize nouns by adding an " apostrophe ess " (or " 's " , as it's [Please note proper use of "it's", the contracted form of "it is" or "it has" as opposed to "its" which is the posessive of "it". Also note proper bracketing technique.] known) you may send me the entire contents of your bank account(s) before proceeding to climb into a woodchipper while on fire. I'm only trying to help.